Chapter 81

Chapter 81
## Chapter 81
**A monster’s instinct lies in killing people.**

It does not seek a reason to do so. Just as humans crave honor or success without a specific motive, monsters simply kill.

Siern understood this truth better than anyone.

At a certain point, she realized that if she abandoned reason, she would end up killing people. And by the time she noticed that everyone who looked at her treated her like a monster, she had already renounced her life as a human being.

Feeling repugnance for the detestable blood of a monster, lamenting a life destined to fade away in vain… those kinds of superficial emotions had vanished long ago.

If she had managed to control that instinct even once, perhaps she would have glimpsed a flicker of hope.

However, no one would risk their life for someone who might not even be able to control themselves. Someone like Siern is extremely rare in this world.

Even her own family looked away, not to mention the aristocratic magic tutors who valued their own safety.

The abandonment by countless masters only served to accentuate Siern’s imperfection.

There was no longer anyone willing to risk their life to correct her.

In that case, the only thing left was a long fall into darkness.

Sinking slowly, very slowly, as if falling into the depths of the ocean, and when not even her own father could control her, ending her life in silence.

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Until then, she would be nothing more than a passing life in the world.

If in that process she managed to kill one less person, it would already be a stroke of luck. To those who trembled with fear and treated her like a monster, she would say:

“I am not human, I am a monster. So do not come near me.”

The only fortunate thing was that the blood of a monster did not always disadvantage her.

At times, it seemed that there were people in this world who truly deserved to die.

Many were born human but harmed others, exploited the poor, violated women, and ruined other lives for selfish desires.

Every time Siern saw those people, she couldn’t help but think: even if they are called humans, many do not look like it.

Perhaps it would be better to kill them without remorse.

She was referring to people like Dereck, who was standing right in front of her.

**Boom!**

The outer wall of the Rochester mansion collapsed, and Dereck’s figure emerged from the falling dust.

A beast ran toward Dereck, casting spells indiscriminately with the intent to kill him.

The beast, dressed in an elegant suit, followed him into the mansion and began to unleash all kinds of elemental magic.

*This is not right.*

While dodging Siern’s uncontrolled spells and increasing the distance, Dereck found himself inside the mansion again.

He had planned to end everything in the snowy field, but he had no choice but to frown.

**Thud.**

**Grrrr…**

Siern stood atop the debris of the collapsed wall, bathed in the moonlight. At that moment, it was difficult to consider her human by any standard.

A chilling magic floated around her in the form of blades, and her eyes, filled with murderous intent, no longer reflected the light of reason.

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“Ahhh! Lady Siern is out of control!”

“Call the head of the family! Quick! We can’t stop her!”

“Save me… please, save me…!”

How many times had they seen Siern like this? The servants working in the garden began to run for their lives.

Dereck, brushing off a scratch on his shoulder, looked at Siern, soaked in monster blood, and thought.

«This feels more like facing a tribe of monsters in a high-level labyrinth than a human. Monster tribes that use magic were already problematic… but this is even worse.»

There are monsters like banshees, liches, or reapers, specialized in deadly magic or forbidden arts.

They are not common, of course, but Siern seemed even more problematic than them.

And, above all, he could not kill her. Nor could he cause her much harm. But if he fought half-heartedly, she would decapitate him in an instant.

Few people could walk that tightrope against a mage who wielded 3-star level magic with such freedom.

He had to risk his life. Teaching Siern meant exactly that. Dereck ran his hand over his face and took a deep breath.

**Zas!**

**Bang!**

Siern’s movements, piercing through the wall and entering the garden, felt like the wind.

Even when she was in her right mind, her movements were difficult to follow with the eye.

Now, without any reason, it was practically impossible without a level of perception close to clairvoyance.

Dereck calmly perceived the flow of magic and intercepted all of Siern’s “Fire Arrows,” a 1-star spell.

**Pum! Crash!**

He spun his staff with agility and deflected the claws lunging directly at his face.

**Clang!**

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Siern destroyed Dereck’s sword with her own hands using transformation magic, but his staff, reinforced with 4-star level magic, could not be broken so easily.

No matter how much of a genius she was, at her age, Siern still could not reach the level of 4-star magic.

Dereck deflected her fingers and raised a foot to kick her away.

**Fwoosh!**

Siern rolled through the garden and flew toward the flower bed.

The servants hidden in the building swallowed hard as they saw Dereck unhesitatingly kick a noblewoman of the Rochester family.

From a commoner’s perspective, touching the body of a noble lady was like sticking one’s arm into lava. An almost suicidal act.

But Dereck didn’t care. He was already used to wielding the “rod of love” as a magical instrument.

Layton the butler felt a chill seeing Dereck’s expression among the debris of the building.

His face was truly serene, and his movements showed no emotion whatsoever. He was so calm that one wondered if he was even human.

“Get up.”

—Dereck ordered, waving his staff in front of the dust-covered flower bed.

“Aren’t you going to kill me?”

Silence.

There were no signs of life in the flower pot, plunged into chaos.

“Do you think I’m going to die from this?”

Dereck spoke with a powerful and devastating voice. It was also a provocation.

Even if he had done nothing else, Siern had already lost her reason. But Dereck’s actions seemed to push her emotions even further to the limit.

Dereck knew it.

Demons seemed to have the instinct to kill humans engraved in their minds. But, as Aiselin had said, not all beings in the world live solely by instinct.

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Just as humans repress hunger, sleep, and desire, just as they lie in the face of injustice or act against their conscience out of ambition.

There have always been those who rebel against their impulses. And that was no different for beasts or demons.

Many demons tried to kill Dereck. But when faced with overwhelming power, many ended up renouncing their murderous instinct to survive.

Feeling fear is not enough.

In the midst of blind fury, when only impulses remain, one must regain reason to be able to say they have overcome that murderous instinct running through their veins.

The murderous instinct arrives without warning, like a wave. Believing that one can control the waves just by having defeated a few small ones is a mistake.

Only by overcoming the largest wave that hits the heart does that effort acquire meaning.

That is why Dereck pushed Siern to the limit. He pushed her to the edge, inciting her to kill him at all costs.

He wanted her to become obsessed with the idea of murdering him. And only when she managed to overcome that impulse would Siern experience, for the first time, mastery over her instincts.

The first time is crucial. That instant would change her life completely.

**Thud!**

**Clang!**

A beast shot out from the dust. It lunged at Dereck with incredible speed, brandishing its claws.

The claws were blocked, but it was not easy to stop the numerous magic blades flying toward his back.

**Fwoosh!**

A girl with a level equivalent to a 3-star mage charged with the sole intent to kill.

Dereck deflected most of the magical blades, but some pierced his shoulder and collarbone, leaving wounds.

Blood ran down his arm, but his expression did not change.

**Twist!**

Dereck quickly retracted his staff.

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While Siern, with her center of gravity unbalanced, staggered forward, he twisted her wrist and slammed her into the ground.

**Fwoosh!**

And when he drove a magic arrow into that spot, Siern instinctively cast a protective spell to block it.

She reached out to cut Dereck’s leg, even managing to scratch his ankle.

Blood splattered, but Dereck, imperturbable, threw her away with magic.

**Boom!**

Close combat, ranged magic duels, psychological warfare, fast battles, power clashes: Siern did not surpass Dereck in any of them.

As they fought and clashed, the wounds on Dereck’s body increased, but Siern also began to gasp, as if she were running out of strength.

If she was going to reach her limit, she should have done so by now.

The level of magic Siern used was such that even experienced mages had to concentrate to cast it.

Casting the spell indiscriminately would only accelerate fatigue. But Siern, having lost her reason, was not thinking about endurance.

**Thud!**

Then Dereck, who was already bleeding profusely, grabbed her by the neck. She tried to pull him away quickly, but her arms had no strength. She growled as she tried to tear his arm off.

Although his flesh was torn and blood dripped, he did not loosen his grip. The difference in physical strength was enormous. A robust man who had trained his whole life against a fragile girl who depended on transformation magic.

Dereck’s forearm, bulging with veins, remained firm as a mountain, no matter how hard she struggled.

“Kaaargh!”

“…”

Siern screamed and looked at him with fury. The coldness in her red eyes remained unalterable.

At that moment, realizing she could not escape through brute force, she decided to resort to more magic.

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Although she had already exhausted almost all her mana, strangely, the more she extracted, the more it seemed to increase.

**Whoooosh!**

With the firm determination to launch a final attack, she extracted all her magic from head to toe.

Finally, Siern activated 3-star combat magic: “Freezing.”

**Crackle!**

**Crunch!**

***

**Crunch! Crunch!**

The third-level spell “Freezing” was a magic that froze everything surrounding the caster and immobilized it.

Everything within a ten-meter radius around her was completely frozen, stopping any approaching target. It was a decisive spell for third-level close combat.

It not only paralyzed people but also the ground, buildings, and even the leaves of plants, stopping all movement. It was as if time itself had stopped.

The spell demanded meticulous control and was of such magnitude that even the most advanced mages rarely used it.

Siern, pushed to the limit of her strength, managed to cast the spell. No matter how strong Dereck was, he could not have foreseen it.

**Whoooosh!**

When the effects of the magic dissipated, a world covered in ice was revealed.

The garden gazebo, the leaves of the trees… everything was frozen, and yet, Dereck’s arm still firmly gripped Siern’s neck.

“…!”

Siern’s eyes widened, startled to feel that her magic had been momentarily exhausted.

In that instant, Dereck discerned the type of magic Siern was about to cast and fired a fire arrow at himself.

His body was covered in cuts and burns. However, there was no trace of the ice that should have surrounded him.

In mental agility, judgment, and reaction capacity, Dereck far surpassed Siern.

It was at that moment when that fact became undeniable.

“Ha… ha…”

While Siern panted, Dereck tightened his grip on the collar of her robe and brought his face close to hers.

“Is it over?”

“…Ha… ha…”

“You learn magic fast. That ice spell was useful. I should try it if I get the chance.”

“…You… ha…”

“It seems you can no longer use magic.”

Dereck was not only skilled with the sword but also in close combat. In fact, even without those skills, no one could beat him in a simple test of strength.

If she had no mana left, there was no way to kill Dereck.

As savage as she was, driven by a murderous instinct, she would not throw herself into certain death.

Charging at Dereck at that moment was like jumping off a cliff.

Not even a creature that had lost its mind would throw itself off a cliff.

“Ha… ha… ha…”

Siern, gasping with difficulty, silently observed the bleeding Dereck. Despite all the magic she had thrown at him, the man remained motionless, like an immovable wall.

Gradually… the light of reason returned to Siern’s eyes.

“…Yes…”

“…”

“I can’t kill you…”

**Flash!**

**Crash!**

When Dereck let go, Siern’s body fell pitifully onto the snow.

Amidst the softly falling snow, the battered Siern gritted her teeth and spoke.

“…Yes. I am relieved that I couldn’t do it despite having given it my all…”

“…”

«Kill me. Dying in this pathetic way is the most appropriate end for me. Without having achieved anything, simply… simply living and dying as a monster was the life that was given to me from the beginning.»

Siern lowered her head, with tears streaming down her face.

Her dress was covered in dust. Rolling on the snowy ground in that disheveled state seemed most appropriate for her.

“You’re right. Even if I continue living like this, I will turn my murderous instinct toward someone else again. I always knew a day like this would come.”

Siern gritted her teeth, letting the tears fall freely, and screamed at Dereck.

“Kill me!”

Siern, who no longer had the strength to resist, spoke.

Dereck, who watched her silently from above, had a cold look in his eyes.

Moments later, Dereck reached into his pocket and pulled out a small glass bottle.

He threw it in front of Siern, who was sitting in the snow.

With a loud thud, the glass bottle embedded itself right in front of Siern’s eyes.

The bottle, containing a bluish liquid, had an old-fashioned design.

“It is a medicine made with the floren plant. Drink it.”

“…Ha…”

Siern let out a hollow laugh.

Aiselin had already mentioned to her that Dereck intended to kill her with poison.

In the end, this cruel man wanted Siern to take her own life with her own hands. Perhaps that was the punishment he had in mind.

Feeling deep sadness, Siern finally accepted reality and took the bottle.

However, she wanted to say a few words before leaving.

“Tell Dad… that he worked very hard to accept me and take responsibility for a daughter like me. At least I… didn’t hold a grudge against him… for trying to love a monster like me until the end… thank him for that…”

“…Understood.”

“Yes. That’s enough.”

Having said that, Siern, holding back her tears, drank the medicine Dereck had given her.

**Thud.**

She dropped the empty bottle to the ground and sat back down. Gently closing her eyes, she remembered the first time she committed a massacre.

The first to find Siern among the wolf corpses was Lord Melverot.

He approached with a firm step, grabbed her arm tightly, and took her back to the mansion without saying a word.

She never knew what expression he had or what he felt. Even so, Siern’s murderous instinct never turned toward her father. Perhaps that was the last line she managed to maintain.

A father with a murderous daughter. Perhaps he resented her. Even so, her father loved her. She wanted to leave this world believing that.

Regardless of the truth, dying with that thought was the happiest death Siern could afford herself.

And so, Siern gently closed her eyes.

A life full of suffering. But a life in which she could never pretend to be the victim anywhere.

To live as a monster, to die as a monster. If she were born again, she would only want to be human.

After that monologue… she slowly closed her eyes.

And left her body in the hands of the cold wind sweeping across the frozen land.

It was the end of her life.

***

“…”

However, life did not end.

When Siern slowly opened her eyes, she thought she would vomit blood and faint from the deadly poison.

But instead of poison flowing through her body, a warm energy began to circulate, and soon a small amount of mana began to return.

Thanks to the transforming magic enveloping her body, she was able to withstand the hostile weather a little longer.

“What is this…?”

“Flonen herb temporarily amplifies mana recovery. Its effect is minimal, but it should be enough to resist the cold.”

“W-what…? It wasn’t… poison?”

“If there were a poison capable of killing a monster so easily, would it be necessary for so many mercenaries to die subduing labyrints?”

“Then, this is…”

Siern looked at Dereck with a bewildered expression. Dereck put away his staff, healed his wounds, and maintained an indifferent expression.

Approaching Siern, who was still stunned, he whispered in a low voice.

“Even though you reached the maximum limit… in the end, you regained your reason.”

“W-what…?”

“Well done.”

At those words, Siern was left speechless. In fact, although until that moment she had let herself be carried away by instinct, it was the first time she had not killed anyone.

It was more because of Dereck’s firmness, like a mountain, than by Siern’s own will.

Even so, for the first time, she regained her sanity on the edge of her murderous instinct. That was an undeniable fact.

“Remember that feeling.”

Blood dripped from various parts of Dereck’s body. They were all marks of his battle against Siern.

But the young man did not seem to care about those wounds, and with indifference he took off his cloak, placing it roughly over Siern’s head.

“That’s enough for today.”

“…”

“It’s cold, so go inside.”

Having said that, Dereck turned around in silence and walked away with a firm step over the snow.

Siern could only watch in silence, her eyes wide open. His figure, vanishing in the blizzard, seemed like an illusion.

Dereck was also in a pitiful state, but he fulfilled his duty without complaining even once.

That was Dereck.

***

**Thump, thump!**

“Ugh… gasp…”

Siern groaned as she barely managed to climb the spiral staircase, leaning against the tower wall.

Her hair, once like white silk, was completely disheveled, and her elegant and expensive dress was torn and in tatters.

In that state, it would have been natural for the servants to rush to help her, but none dared to approach.

Unless they were completely sure that Siern had fully regained her sanity, no one would approach her.

Thus, despite her noble status as a lady of the Rochester family, the young woman had to crawl alone to her room.

In the cold and solitude, the girl thought.

‘What on earth… is that man trying to teach me…? That feeling of regaining sanity…?’

Although he could have killed her right then and there, the man left coldly as if the previous battles had meant nothing.

His actions, as if he had fulfilled his mission and felt relieved, even left an unsettling impression.

Was it all an act…? To push me to the limit… and make me overcome my instincts even if only once…?

She had heard he was a renowned magic master. In fact, his ability to deal with Siern’s attacks, even when she had lost her reason and lunged at him, was extraordinary.

Unlike her previous professors, who were more academic, he was a totally practical person.

If all his actions were solely to correct her… If he fought, risking his life to help Siern —who had lived as a monster for everyone— regain a little humanity.

Siern didn’t know how to organize her thoughts.

If that were true, it would mean that, from beginning to end, Dereck had guided her solely as her master.

**Thump, thump!**

As she climbed each step with difficulty, Siern muttered between clenched teeth.

“Still… still… that doesn’t justify what he did…!”

Gritting her teeth, Siern spoke to herself. The first thing that came to her mind was the image of a girl bleeding out in the snowy field.

The image of that noble young woman who had to lose her life because of Dereck’s sword, simply for standing in his way, remained engraved in her eyes.

She was a person of such integrity and conviction that she seemed not to fit beside Siern.

*I never understood why a girl so beautiful, like a fairy, had to be driven to death just for trying to correct a monster like me.*

“…”

But soon, a heavy cold settled in her chest.

Killing is wrong, life is precious.

*Do I even have the right to say such things?*

She did not.

That’s why she couldn’t blame Dereck. That fact hurt Siern even more.

It was undeniable. Still, Aiselin’s death remained a deep wound that persisted in her heart.

Faced with the cruelty of Dereck, who murdered her mercilessly, Siern ended up shaking her head.

Caught in confused thoughts, Siern barely managed to reach the door and open it.

For now, she just wanted to lie down on the bed.

**Creak**

When she opened the door, Aiselin, who was drinking tea, jumped and dropped her cup.

“…”

“Ah! Ah! Lady Siern…! A-are you okay…? You aren’t seriously injured?”

“…”

Aiselin blushed with an awkward expression and toyed with her hands on her lap.

Siern thought silently.

‘Now I’m even having hallucinations. First I need to calm my disturbed mind.’

Siern walked toward the bed.

When she finally laid her exhausted body on the soft mattress, a warm feeling of well-being completely enveloped her. It relieved the tension in her body, which had been on the verge of death.

What emerged shortly after was a sense of emptiness. The death of a girl who really wanted to help her, and her own impotence before it.

That horrible feeling ate at her heart, but she was already used to those kinds of emotions.

Sadness, grief, frustration, solitude, pain.

As she lay there with her arm covering her eyes, her nose began to sting. Although she didn’t want to, she couldn’t help but sob, as her chest hurt.

“Um, um… Lady Siern. Yes, that’s… It must have been very hard for you. I should have given you time to recover… I was too reckless…”

*Sniff, sniff*

“But still… perhaps you are curious about the situation or want an explanation… Oh, no… it’s just a guess. You should rest now. Forgive me for suddenly entering your room.”

*Sniff, sniff*

“I’ll leave the tea here for now. It’s supposed to help you calm down. It’s a good tea, so try it. Mmm… if you feel better, maybe later…”

**Suddenly!**

While Aiselin continued speaking nervously, Siern suddenly sat up.

Aiselin jumped in surprise and straightened her back quickly.

“Eh…?”

Siern let out a dazed sound. In her mind, she had already organized a funeral for Aiselin. However, Aiselin, still awkward, toyed with her fingertips and glanced sideways at Siern’s face.

She seemed very embarrassed.

There is one thing you should never do in front of someone who is sincerely crying for you.

And that is coming back to life.